We put it on cotton. If you have to wonder whether the recipient can handle it, they can't. Get them a candle instead. If you've ever been the only person at the Cinco party who gets the irony, this is your uniform.

It's a funny graphic tee printed on heavyweight cotton. It's about the very human experience of caring a lot, getting tired, and choosing peace. No gift receipt needed. 100% cotton. Unisex fit S-2XL.

The Earth Is Fine You're The Problem Tee from Unethical Threads is a heavyweight cotton graphic tee for anyone who's done pretending the planet's biggest issue isn't us. Unisex fit, DTG printed, and blunt enough to save you the trouble of explaining your worldview at the cookout.

The I'm Not A Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick When I See One Tee is Unethical Threads at peak passive-aggressive. Heavyweight cotton that feels substantial, not like a tissue paper situation. The design is printed on the back.

Wear it, own it, watch the room split. It looks good there, honestly. They will not forget this one. Crew neck, classic cut. People who peak at barbecues and in group chats. The friend everyone's a little nervous to introduce to new people.

No guessing sizes (S-4XL, relaxed fit). No wondering if they'll get it. They'll get it. They probably already live it. The Im Not Saying Im An Alcoholic But My Blood Type Is Margar-Ita Positive shirt says what your friends already know, printed on heavyweight cotton that holds up better than your liver will.