Heavyweight cotton, graphic tee, maximum dismissive energy. You care about the earth, you just don't care about their lecture. It's pre-shrunk. Wash it hot, wash it cold, it holds its shape. People who recycle but draw the line at being guilt-tripped about it.
This is not a subtle shirt. Almost certainly. That's sort of the point. People with a sense of humor and zero interest in playing it safe. You'll see this at tailgates, bachelor parties, and the kind of cookout where the host has strong opinions about charcoal.
Dark humor, heavyweight cotton, design on the back where your enemies can read it as you leave. Skip the gift card. Heavyweight cotton. Not see-through, not flimsy, and it doesn't feel like you're wearing a tissue.
The Cinco De Mayo More Like Cinco Go Die Yo White Tee is Unethical Threads' contribution to your May 5th wardrobe. It says what you're thinking while everyone else is pretending to care about margarita specials.
The Cinco De Mayo More Like Cinco Go Die Yo Black Tee is Unethical Threads saying what you're already thinking every May 5th. DTG printed on heavyweight cotton. This isn't a safe gift. It's an "I know you, and this is exactly your speed" gift.
Heavyweight cotton, DTG printed, sizes S through 4XL. People who survived a Cinco de Mayo that required an apology text to their own body. This is honest reporting, not fashion. Is This a Good Cinco de Mayo Gift?.
Heavyweight cotton, real DTG print, and the kind of joke that makes your parole officer sigh. This is the gift you give when a gift card feels lazy and you want to prove you actually know the person.
The Ankle Monitors Are Sexy Tee from Unethical Threads says what the justice system won't: those little blinking bracelets have a certain charm. This tee is for anyone who looked at an ankle monitor and thought "accessorize.".
This is a funny margarita drinking shirt from Unethical Threads that announces your blood type as Margar-Ita Positive. The I'm Not Saying I'm An Alcoholic But My Blood Type Is Margar-Ita Positive Black Tee is for anyone whose liver has a longer rap sheet than their actual criminal record.
If you've ever ordered a round nobody asked for and felt no guilt about it, this is your uniform. Your tequila might fade the night, but this graphic won't fade on you. It's cheaper than a bottle of Don Julio and way more honest than a gift card.
