A back print that lets everyone behind you know you take your baking (and your innuendos) seriously. Dad humor with just enough plausible deniability to wear around the in-laws. Skip it for anyone who needs the joke explained.

Heavyweight cotton, DTG-printed, and way funnier than whatever excuse you were going to use. It's heavyweight cotton with a broken-in feel. Not stiff, not flimsy. The kind of shirt you grab first out of the drawer.

It says the quiet part out loud on heavyweight black cotton. You already know if this is for you. Cinco de Mayo parties have never been about historical accuracy, and this tee leans all the way into that.

You showed up to the Cinco de Mayo party. This shirt is just putting that energy into words. The joke is on you, the wearer. That's not punching down. People respect the honesty. Is this a good Cinco de Mayo gift?.

Heavyweight cotton, unisex fit, and a punchline that needs no explanation. You already know. Most dads get socks or a tie they'll never wear. This is the shirt your dad will actually put on and then refuse to take off at the cookout.

The My Liver Is On Vacation In The Icu After Cinco De Mayo Black Tee is Unethical Threads doing what we do best: saying the quiet part loud. People who treat Cinco De Mayo like a competitive sport. If you've ever woken up on May 6th wondering which organ to apologize to first, this one's for you.

If you squint. Almost certainly. That's not a bug, it's a feature. Heavyweight cotton that feels like an actual shirt, not a tissue with sleeves. The full design is printed across the upper back. The front is blank, so people get the reveal when you walk past them.

Who actually wears a Cinco De Mayo hangover shirt?. Unethical Threads made a Cinco De Mayo shirt for the people who celebrate like heroes and suffer like mortals. Heavyweight cotton, unisex fit, no apologies.

Heavyweight cotton, DTG printed, and designed to make everyone behind you in line deeply uncomfortable. Walk into a room normal. Walk out legendary. Works especially well in waiting rooms, court-mandated classes, and family reunions where everyone already knows.